Morning Hyperbole

SI’s Tom Verducci on Tony LaRussa’s management of World Series Game 5:

Marie Curie died of anemia caused by her exposure to the radioactive elements she discovered. Jim Fixx wrote The Complete Book of Running to promote its health benefits, and dropped dead at 52 from a heart attack after a daily run. Now here is La Russa desperate for two wins to keep the monster he invented from turning against his reputation.

One more reason to love sports: commenters can make ridiculously outlandish comparisons that politicians could never get away with.  (Rush Limbaugh and Hank Williams Jr. exceptions noted.)

New York Giants Feast on In-A-Tub

Here’s one last Kansas City post before I head back to DC.  My favorite restaurant in KC is… you guessed it, a taco joint called In-A-Tub Tacos, home to the best greasy-spoon tacos I’ve ever had.

What does this have to do with the New York Giants?  Well, you may recall a certain snowstorm grounding the Giants in Kansas City on December 11 and forcing a delay in the Vikings-Giants game.  (This was the same snowstorm that knocked out the Metrodome roof, but in fact the Giants being unable to get to the game was the main factor in postponing.)  Now, check out this ESPN.com post from that evening:

Giants defensive end Justin Tuck just told me via cell phone that the team will likely stay in Kansas City tonight and then try to get out early Sunday morning. He also wanted to plug a Kansas City-based restaurant called In-A-Tub that specializes in tacos. He and several defensive players bypassed the barbecue sandwiches in favor of tacos.

This was followed shortly by a post on the In-A-Tub Facebook page:

Sent a carry out order of tacos to the airport today for some of the NY Giants players. The team was delayed at KCI for several hours. Their flight ended up getting cancelled. No doubt they enjoyed the tacos from earlier in the day, since we ended up making a bunch more for them to scarf down at the hotel that evening. Thanks Dave Tollefson #71 for the order and Justin Tuck #91 for the plug on espn.com.

Well played, Giants.  Well played.

In Which Vandy Leads the SEC

I learned something in my Vanderbilt athletic (not an oxymoron) magazine this weekend: apparently there is a rating called the NCSA Collegiate Power Rankings, which averages three scores: the Learfield Sports Directors’ Cup ranking (which evaluates strength of athletic department), the NCAA athletic graduation rate, and the U.S. News ranking.  And Vanderbilt is not only tied for 51st according to this rating system, but is the only school in the Southeastern Conference to break the top 100.

Two brief points I’d like to make here.  First, most people who think of Vanderbilt athletics think of bad football, but in fact — if you are willing to overlook football — our sports program is actually pretty awesome.  (I realize how difficult this caveat is to overcome in Tennessee, where most people choose their college based on its football program.)  Second, chalk this up as just another example of how you can construct a statistic to help you arrive at whatever you want to convince yourself.

Worlds Colliding: Football and Liberty

My friend and colleague Steve Davies has an article about football and spontaneous orders in the May edition of The Freeman.  An excerpt:

The development of each [sport] shares some noteworthy features: It was spontaneous, unplanned, and bottom-up, with large, complex organizations produced by free association and agreement–and with a secession option. There was competition among different rule systems. In many cases a key role was played by particular entrepreneurial individuals or organizations.

Students of the history of sports — in particular soccer, rugby, and American football — would do well to visit Steve’s writing on the subject.

NFL Bars in DC

Since no one in DC is actually from DC, many sports bars cater to fans of other cities’ NFL teams on Sundays.  Here’s a reasonably accurate list.

A Good Reason to Root Against Florida Today

If they lose today, then win next week, it could set up a BCS Meltdown scenario.  Read what Andy Staples thinks might have been had Auburn beaten Alabama yesterday:

The folks inside the hollowed-out volcano that serves as BCS headquarters probably swore up their own [you-know-what] storm at about 3 p.m. Friday when Auburn used enough trick plays to fill an entire Boise State coaches’ clinic to take a 14-0 lead. Ten men had blocked perfectly on Terrell Zachary’s 67-yard end-around, and a [stonesy] onside kick had set up Eric Smith’s one-yard touchdown catch. At the very least, a ‘Bama loss Friday followed by a ‘Bama win in next week’s SEC title game might have allowed an unwashed non such as TCU to dream of a spot in the BCS title game. At the very worst, a one-loss ‘Bama might have made the BCS championship over undefeated Cincinnati, TCU and Boise State. That probably would have prompted a few phone calls from the Justice Department, all including the phrase “Sherman Act” and followed in the BCS lair by the word [bleep].

I happen to think the SEC is so top-to-bottom superior that the world is only just when they hold the reigning national champion — and this year, I happen to think the only just world has two SEC teams playing for the championship.  But I would sell that out in a heartbeat to a TCU-Cincinnati matchup or some other nonsense if it means death to the BCS.

Sorry About that Pesky Real World

Maurice Jones-Drew cost more than 10,000 fantasy players (on ESPN.com alone) their “pretend games” by taking a knee at the 1 to win his real game.  The best part?  He was one of them.

I find this hysterical.

This Bud’s for You

After the Titans’ 41-17 victory over the Bills, it seems that owner Bud Adams wanted to have his own celebration, caught on video flipping the bird in the general direction of the Bills’ owner.

Story here.  I guess there’s more to these 50th anniversary AFL grudge matches than I previously realized.

Titans Not an 0-16 Team (I Think)

Michael Rosenberg weighs the odds that one of the four winless teams will go 0-16 this year, and finds the Titans an unlikely candidate.  Well duh, who’s likely after five games?

BUT, on the other hand, he can’t figure out why the 0-5 Titans are a winless team now either, so until (unless?) they get that first win I recommend some measure of trepidation.

Vote for Memorial Gym!

Vote for Vandy’s basketball court in the latest edition of Arena Wars:

 You’ve heard about raising the roof, but what about raising the floor? That’s the unique element these two arenas share. At both arenas, the playing surface is elevated a few feet off the ground.

At Williams Arena, also known as “The Barn” due to its barrel-vaulted roof and loft-style seating in the second deck, the setup is such that team benches, officials tables, etc., are actually below the court. The Golden Gophers’ all-time record at Williams Arena, which opened in 1928, stands at 710-279. This excludes the seasons of 1993-94 through 1998-99, which were vacated as a result of NCAA sanctions.

In addition to its raised court, Vanderbilt’s Memorial Gym also features an extra-wide sideline unlike any other in the nation. Opened in 1952, it was dedicated as a campus memorial to students and alumni killed in World War II. The Commodores have posted a record of 682-188 in Memorial Gym.

Minnesota has over 50,000 students compared to around 10,000 at Vandy — compounded over time that’s a significant disadvantage, so we need all the help we can get!

R.I.P. Steve McNair

Titans Fans Loved Steve McNair’s Resilience
Sorrow Is Great Because McNair Was One of Us

I never met Steve McNair, but it’s surprising how paying to watch a guy showcase his talents a hundred or so times makes you really feel like you know him.

How Bud Adams Infiltrated the NFL

The article’s title references Adams’s influence on Nashville, which is also true, but this is just as much the story of how a couple of rich old Texans fought the establishment and won.

 [Update 5/25/09: It occurred to me, after the fact, that although they were rich Texans they weren’t actually old at the time — Bud Adams was something like 33 when he co-founded the AFL.]

A Free Market in Sports

Malcolm Gladwell’s recent New Yorker article examines the role of the underdog in David vs. Goliath scenarios and, with heavy emphasis on basketball examples, wonders why more Davids don’t employ unconventional strategies to try and balance the odds against their uber-advantaged opponents.

The debate continues and expands in an outstanding three-part exchange between Gladwell and Bill Simmons on ESPN.com this week.  From it, I draw on this extended excerpt of sports economics awesomeness:

The consistent failure of underdogs in professional sports to even try something new suggests, to me, that there is something fundamentally wrong with the incentive structure of the leagues. I think, for example, that the idea of ranking draft picks in reverse order of finish — as much as it sounds “fair” — does untold damage to the game. You simply cannot have a system that rewards anyone, ever, for losing. Economists worry about this all the time, when they talk about “moral hazard.” Moral hazard is the idea that if you insure someone against risk, you will make risky behavior more likely. So if you always bail out the banks when they take absurd risks and do stupid things, they are going to keep on taking absurd risks and doing stupid things. Bailouts create moral hazard. Moral hazard is also why your health insurance has a co-pay. If your insurer paid for everything, the theory goes, it would encourage you to go to the doctor when you really don’t need to. No economist in his right mind would ever endorse the football and basketball drafts the way they are structured now. They are a moral hazard in spades. If you give me a lottery pick for being an atrocious GM, where’s my incentive not to be an atrocious GM?

I think the only way around the problem is to put every team in the lottery. Every team’s name gets put in a hat, and you get assigned your draft position by chance. Does that, theoretically, make it harder for weaker teams to improve their chances against stronger teams? I don’t think so. First of all, the principal engine of parity in the modern era is the salary cap, not the draft. And in any case, if the reverse-order draft is such a great leveler, then why are the same teams at the bottom of both the NFL and NBA year after year? The current system perpetuates the myth that access to top picks is the primary determinant of competitiveness in pro sports, and that’s simply not true. Success is a function of the quality of the organization.

Another more radical idea is that you do a full lottery only every second year, or three out of four years, and in the off year make draft position in order of finish. Best teams pick first. How fun would that be? Every meaningless end-of-season game now becomes instantly meaningful. If you were the Minnesota Timberwolves, you would realize that unless you did something really drastic — like hire some random sports writer as your GM, or bring in Pitino to design a special-press squad — you would never climb out of the cellar again. And in a year with a can’t-miss No. 1 pick, having the best record in the regular season becomes hugely important.

And later, after an extended back-and-forth:

Or how about eliminating the draft altogether? I’m at least half-serious here. Think about it. Suppose we let every college player apply for and receive job offers in the same way that, oh, every other human being on the planet does. That doesn’t mean that everyone goes to L.A. and New York, because you still have the constraints of the cap. It does mean, though, that both players and teams would have to make an affirmative case for each other’s services. So you trade for Steve Nash or Jason Kidd, because they make you instantly attractive to every mobile big man coming out of college. Instead of asking the boring question — which team is going to be lucky enough to draft Derrick Rose? — we ask the far more interesting question: Which team, out of every team in the league, should Derrick Rose play for? Or suppose you’re the T-Wolves, and you’ve been a doormat for years. You could say, “From now on we’re a clean-living, Christian organization. We have prayer meetings before every game. We are home by 11. We never do drugs.” Then you’d have the inside track on every clean-living college basketball player in the country. Are there enough quality religious players out there to win a championship? There must be! (By the way, why has no one ever put together the all-time clean-living starting five? And how great a name for a franchise is the “Minnesota Christians?”)

The bigger point here is that what consistently drives me crazy about big-time sports is the assumption that sports occupy their own special universe, in which the normal rules of the marketplace and human psychology don’t apply. That’s how you get the idea of a reverse-order draft, which violates every known rule of human behavior.

Even Matt Yglesias agrees, snarkily, to a freer market for sports:

I think our sports would be a lot more interesting with more free movement of teams, more freedom to negotiate salary arrangements, more freedom to sign whichever young players you can persuade to join you, promotion and relegation of teams that can’t cut the mustard, etc. The free market, just like they have in Europe.

Which means I side with a New Yorker writer, a Boston sports columnist, and a progressive blogger against parity and corporate welfare.  I guess sports makes strange bedfellows.

BCS Champions, Federal Criminals?

U.S. Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) has sponsored a bill that would make it a federal crime to call the BCS a championship.  No, this is not a joke.

What’s their motive, you might ask?  Well, as per usual, it seems that special interests hold no bounds.  Rep. Barton, although himself a Texas A&M fan, represents a ton of Texas fans who are still pissed their team was denied a shot at the BCS title.  Fellow anti-BCS crusader Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT), represents a state “where the flagship state university enjoyed a 12-0 regular season but had a zero-percent chance of playing for the national title in 2008.”  And President Obama has already pledged to sign an anti-BCS bill into law, so hey, this bill might actually have teeth.

Best quote of the column:

“It’s like communism,” Barton said. “You can’t fix it. It’s not fixable. Sooner or later, you’re going to have to try a new model.”

Yes, of course: things we don’t like = communism.  Moron.  Though to be fair to playoff proponents, here’s the second-best quote of the column:

“[The bowl system] has served college athletics pretty well for 100 years,” [Alamo Bowl president Derrick] Fox said. Pontiac served car buyers pretty well for 83 years, too. Just not well enough.

How could this possibly be constitutional?  Well, living constitution proponents, since every BCS team is either a public school or a private school receiving federal grants, apparently Congress has decided it can mandate or prohibit whatever it wants.  And then there’s the even likelier scenario: the Constitution never factored into the thought process of any of the elected officials involved in this subcommittee hearing.

I hate the BCS too.  Like every other college football fan, I have about 15 ideas for how to reorganize the postseason — and like every other college football fan, I’m sure my ideas are all better than yours.  But using Congress’s time and money taxpayer money on subcommittee hearings for this purpose is mind-bogglingly wasteful.  And a federal law, passed by two houses of Congress and signed by the president of the most powerful nation on earth, making it a federal crime to call the BCS a championship is Just Plain Stupid.

Fun Financial Fact about Nationals Park

Total cost of new Washington Nationals stadium: $693 million

Nats wins since new stadium opening: 59

That’s $11.7 million per win in initial stadium cost alone, entirely funded by the DC taxpayers so that Virginia and Maryland residents can enjoy a more pleasant baseball experience.  You’ll be happy to learn that at this pace, amortizing over a 30-year stadium lifespan (which appears to be roughly how long a team is willing to play in a stadium before extorting the city for a new one), DC taxpayers will only be out $391,595 per win.  Unfortunately for DC’s “investment,” the Nats are 0-7 so far this season.

By the way, DC is paying $26,555 per student in FY09 to have some of the worst performing schools in the country, just for comparison.