Quiet Declarations

But where I went to school they call it Vandy football, which to an alum is kind of a cross between listening attentively for your echo to rattle back from empty bleachers and affixing your school spirit to the sole of your shoe for four months. However, there is that one special moment when, thanks largely to an extremely adept university public relations department, the season’s hope is at a maximum: the days approaching the first football game.

Wait, there’s more! This year marks the beginning of a new sports station called ESPN-U. It’s a special channel designed by ESPN to carry obscure college football games between bottom-dwellers of major conferences to which ESPN owns exclusive broadcasting rights. As such, tomorrow (Thursday) evening at 7 p.m. EST a very special set of tens of households and a few sports bars will be able to watch Vanderbilt take on Wake Forest in Winston-Salem, NC.

For Vandy fans in D.C., or those who just want to hang out, we’ll be watching the game at Buffalo Billiards in Dupont Circle. Incidentally, this somewhat overlaps with a Vanderbilt unofficial young alumni happy hour at 5:30 tomorrow at the District Chophouse at 509 7th Street NW, near Gallery Place/Chinatown metro.

And yes, that a school’s alumni happy hour overlaps yet does not include its televised first football game is telling. But if you were thinking of showing up before you heard this, I suspect you’re too eccentric to be disuaded — see you there!

And who could if they wanted to? The magnitude of the catastrophe is overwhelming — it’s total sensory overload. And that’s coming from someone who is probably about as far removed from it and as little connected to it as anyone. It’s awe-striking, mind-boggling, completely absurd and horrifyingly tragic all at the same time.

Three things I’ve noticed online, and then I’ll leave it alone:

(1) CNN correspondents compile a running journal of what they’re witnessing that is perhaps the most moving and descriptive assessment I’ve seen yet of what’s going on down there.

(2) I hope I don’t hear any more about this global warming garbage causing Katrina… period. Talking about global warming with respect to specific events is speculative unsubstantiated propagandistic garbage.

(3) One blogger has already asked the hardest question of all. Too soon? Probably. But once the evacuation is complete and it becomes about dollar signs and common sense instead of the difference between life and death, expect to hear it again.

For the record, there’ll be little if any on this blog about Katrina because anything less than essential strikes me as tending toward voyeuristic. Others can do what they want, but unless I can bring something helpful or relevant to the table I’m staying out of the kitchen.

First, thanks to everyone who dropped by our house for the cookout/debauchery Saturday night. We at 1319 hope you had fun.

Now, on to business. Things I might have written about had I not taken the weekend off:

Vanderbilt student media. Birthplace of friends/bloggers Ben and Jacob (from whom I learned the annual review was out) and one of the true highlights of working with my former employers.

Pat Robertson. Sir, your religious beliefs may give you a moral obligation to evangelize, but they don’t necessitate that you actively seek ways to maximize the number of people who think you’re a moron. There’s no cause more consequential than the spiritual one, so you might consider what percentage of your time you are better serving a higher purpose with your mouth closed.

Fantasy sports. Clearly in response to my rant (what other explanation could there be?) Don Banks explains why he absolutely positively hates fantasy sports. And incidentally, speaking from experience, his reasons are absolutely on target.

The NCAA and mascots. In another move that could only have been inspired by my rant, the NCAA has decided to let Florida State have the Seminoles and they might let Utah have the Utes. The other schools will be handled on a case-by-case basis, according to the spokesperson. Translation: massive public outcry will result in blanket policy being completely dismantled in favor of situational one, particularly for likely BCS contenders. I hate the NCAA.

Survivor: Guatemala. The 11th installment of the still-top-20 reality show premieres September 15, and I’ll make no secret of (nor will I express pride in) the fact that I’ve seen nearly every episode. If the promotional photo is any indication, in my view this may be the most attractive run since the storied Season 1.

Privately-funded stadiums. What’s this? Nashville is about to close a deal to build a new minor-league stadium on the waterfront with no taxpayer dollars?

City leaders and the Nashville Sounds development team are close to reaching an economic agreement that would fund a proposed $223 million downtown project with no taxpayer money.

The $43 million minor league baseball stadium proposal is accompanied by a $180 million mix of residential, retail and office, and possibly a hotel.

Wait… are you telling me that some businesses might, in their own self-interest, be willing to help fund the development in exchange for the benefit of building next to the ballpark?? But wasn’t everyone content with the Indianapolis Colts school of stadium negotiation: the “replace our 20-year old stadium with a new $690 million one or we move to Los Angeles” strategy?

Schwarzenegger’s polling numbers. His job approval rating is a dismal 34% after a barrage of negative publicity. This would probably be even more disturbing for him except that in spite of running virtually no counteroffensive the legislature’s approval rating is 27%. In a state with a population that that practically bleeds blue, California Democrats continually prove themselves to be a unique brand of impotent.

Bush’s polling numbers. His job approval rating is a dismal 40% after seven months of doing basically nothing followed by a month of vacation. This would probably be even more disturbing for him except that in spite of running virtually no counteroffensive the approval rating of Democrats in Congress is 31%. (Note: George Will has more to say about the pathetic failure of Democrats to capitalize on any opportunity.)

Until next time….

Well, not really… I’m just a victim of circumstance.

You may recall my ranting about Fantasy Football last season, when I put about half the Titans on my team only to watch them all ride the bench with ACL tears. (Note to self: don’t pick all players you like or you will just be annoyed with them the whole season.) Incidentally, I finished in second place in spite of my complaining.

It’s a similar story with my fantasy baseball team. After all, I’m in third place and I don’t even come close to knowing as much about baseball as I did ten years ago. So why would I complain? Consider the facts:

Pros: results in my watching more SportsCenter; have something to talk about with people who don’t like politics; convenient web socializing with friends I don’t see very often; my pub crawls can be considered “research”.

Con: 5-10 minutes every other day plus the occasional blog rant

Again, why would I complain? The answer is surprisingly simple, and may in fact be a leading candidate for the Golden Rule of Chad: the only thing I like more than [insert activity here] is needlessly ridiculing [insert same activity].

So, five reasons I’m annoyed with Fantasy Baseball this year:

(1) Fickle draft picks. In a home-run-happy league, my first draft pick was Barry Bonds who announced three days after the draft he would be getting surgery on both knees and spending the better part of the season on my disabled list. If this is truly “fantasy” baseball, I should get a mercy pick from the other teams for egregiousness like that.

(2) Good luck for people who are not me. The guy in first place has at least four players who weren’t supposed to be good at all but coincidentally decided to never do anything wrong. Chris Carpenter is a great pitcher, but are you kidding me?? Same story for Jon Garland — find me a guy who would’ve put money on his 8-0 start? He also picked up Eric Chavez from me about three seconds before Chavez decided he actually wanted to play this season.

(3) Bad luck for… well, me. So I’ve got Pedro Martinez AND Roger Clemens on my team this year, which was supposed to be sweet. Unfortunately they’re a combined 22-11 right now, which is about what either of them should be on their own the way they’ve been pitching. They also have 17 no-decisions between them thanks to precisely ZERO run support. Especially Clemens, who at one point in the season was 3-2 with 5 NDs and a 1.19 ERA… are you kidding me?

(4) Cascading scoring. In my league a lot of categories are rated equally that have a cascading impact on one another. In particular, the home run is the godsend of my league because it impacts hits, runs, total bases, batting average, etc. Now of course this is to be expected, but I’d like to see a league that actually thought about weighting categories by importance — especially until Bonds gets healthy :)

(5) Defense doesn’t matter. I think the fact that defensive statistics are ignored is one of the true atrocities of fantasy baseball. Fielding percentage is IMPORTANT, as are errors and men caught stealing. Maybe you could get points if a player on your team participates in a double play? Hey, if stolen bases and “holds” (a completely made-up pitching statistic) count the same as RBIs then it seems a realistic request to me!

One more thing, which isn’t really a gripe so much as a potentially cool idea. Fantasy baseball should try to improve the way EA Sports adds realism each year, and in that spirit, I might search for a more eclectic league next year that takes externalities into account. You could get points for fan attendance, or be penalized if anyone on your team is caught using steroids. (I would also be a fan of penalizing teams with ugly uniforms — bright orange jerseys, for example — but that may just be a personal thing.) Also, in lieu of a salary cap, a player kick-assness limit could be imposed… I recommend a limit of three Cardinals or three Yankees on the same team.

Anyway, that’s more than enough about Fantasy Baseball. After all, my Fantasy Football draft is tomorrow and, knock on wood, the Titans are healthy so far this year… here’s to stubborn fans and lessons unlearned!

It’s nice to write about things the day before they appear on the front page of the Post for a change. The paper seems to jive with the Hitchens piece I posted last night in suggesting that Democratic positions on the Iraq war continue to be convoluted and unproductive, with no legitimate chance of achieving any kind of aim in their present rhetorical state. Then, it flat out repeats the Times article I referenced in another story, stating that the Defense Department has become less ideological and more political and pragmatic in Bush’s second term.

(Incidentally, while the political articles are interesting, the Post’s staff editorials today are at least as belated as the stuff I write, and more pointless. Maybe they took the night off to read my blog.)

First… Christopher Hitchens is definitely no fan of Cindy Sheehan. And after reading his arguments (linked references included) I think he might have a point.

Second… the Northwest Airlines mechanics are on strike, and I think the culprit is a failure to understand basic economics. Excerpted from this USA TODAY article, a brief union-management timeline:

Nov. 20, 1998: Mechanics, cleaners and custodians choose AMFA as their new union representative, separating from IAM. National Mediation Board certifies AMFA as union representative on June 1, 1999.

March 1, 1999: Northwest institutes 4% unilateral wage increases for mechanics.

April 10, 2001: Northwest avoids a strike by mechanics with a deal that includes an average pay raise of 24.4%. Cleaners and custodians got an average of 13%. The deal gives Northwest mechanics the highest pay in the industry. It also allows Northwest to send 38% of mechanics’ work to outside contractors.

Sept. 22, 2001: Northwest lays off 940 of its 9,511 mechanics and cleaners. By August 2005, only about 4,500 remain.

April 2003: Northwest says it wants $950 million in concessions from workers.

March 29, 2005: Northwest raises total concession demand to $1.1 billion.

July 19, 2005: Mechanics, cleaners and custodians authorize a strike with 92% of the vote.

Aug. 3, 2005: Mechanics walk away from talks, saying Northwest won’t move from the $176 million it wants from their workers.

Aug. 20, 2005: Mechanics strike after negotiations fail to spur new deal.

So basically, increasing wages too far above the market rate results in layoffs, then an untenable wage situation? Hmm, who woulda thought? And incidentally, regardless of whether you side with union or management, Northwest Airlines is going to obliterate the AMFA in this dispute.

Third… if the possible relationship between better health and teen pregnancy is any indication, we might spend a justifiable amount of time focusing on negative social changes but we spend far too little time being thankful for positive social changes.

Fourth… it’s sensible observation times two (at least) in this weekend’s opinion pages. Gideon Rose notes in Thursday’s Times that a decided shift from idealism to pragmatism has occurred in the President’s inner circle. It’s an idea that perhaps needs fleshing out and subjection to additional criticism, but is worth reflection nonetheless. Meanwhile, Friday’s Post editorial focuses on the Virginia gubernatorial race, arguing that (a) governors should consider explaining where the money for their proposals is going to come from and (b) viable candidates should not be excluded from debates as a result of arbitrary conditions or ulterior motives.

Finally… congratulations to Vanderbilt for holding steady in the 2006 U.S. News rankings, which is not the end-all-be-all but does keep the value of my educational investment high (especially compared to some of the other schools I considered, nearly all of whom took a fall this year — tsk tsk).

The NCAA is without a doubt America’s most famous cartel, and they’ve been in the news quite a bit lately for all sorts of nonsense.

A couple of weeks ago their executive committee handed down a ruling that 18 colleges have mascots too offensive to Native Americans to perform in the postseason. Yes, just 18 colleges and just the postseason. I could complain, but others have already done a better job of it. Here’s what Lawrence Eppley, Chairman of the Board of Trustees at the University of Illinois, had to say about the ruling. Or, if you prefer, Florida Gov. Jeb Bush’s remarks on the banning of Florida State mascot.

(To be fair, here’s an alternate opinion.)

Personally, I’m even more upset by yesterday’s developments. It turns out that Texas Tech men’s basketball coach Bob Knight and a few other coaches sued the NCAA for antitrust violation on behalf of the National Invitation Tournament [NIT], and the case has been in trial. Apparently the NCAA has a rule that an invited school is required to play in its basketball tournament and no other if invited. Now, I don’t see why any school in its right mind would choose the NIT over the NCAA tournament, but that’s beside the point — why not at least let them choose?

Anyhow, some legal experts thought the NIT actually had a chance at winning, which must partially explain why on Monday lawyers asked the judge to send jurors home for the day due to an imminent deal out of court. The deal? The NCAA buys the NIT for $56.5 million! Isn’t that a bit like Apple suing Microsoft and Microsoft responding by buying all of Apple’s shares? How in the world is this legal?

Rather than citing specific passages, I’ll just let you read the facts for yourself. You may not be as irritated as I am, but I’ll be surprised if you disagree with my finger pointing. In fact, I bet there aren’t too many people out there who support the NCAA making these kinds of ridiculous overarching decisions for member schools — a cursory glance at the Google News results on the topics seems to validate my point. In a humorous example, one clever and incensed writer tells the NCAA to go to jail.

The NCAA makes no shortage of controversial sweeping edicts in any given season, so I’m sure this isn’t the last you’ll hear from me on the subject. Idiots.

I guess you learn something new every day, and yesterday I discovered at least two items worth sharing. They’re somewhat unrelated, I suppose, but whatever.

First, I was surprised to learn that, contrary to common perception, the amount of nudity in major motion pictures has declined over time. The article suggests to me that private influences and public demand are having more of an impact on the content of films than some would have us believe — food for thought in the wake of Sen. Rick Santorum’s recent book release. I haven’t read it, but I suspect he has something to say about the proper role of government in reducing the availability of something that’s already being reduced.

Second, I’m continually shocked by the idiocy of the City of New London, which is now trying to assess back taxes on property that the former owners have been “squatting” on during the five years of the Kelo lawsuit. I can’t believe the city is still proceeding with the seizure at all given the negative publicity they must be receiving, but even given that they are this seems particularly cruel. When’s the next election in New London?

Sick of hearing about Terrell Owens? So is at least one Eagles fan who used to wear his jersey… and apparently his is for sale.

I haven’t even technically had an experience with the DMV here yet, but I already have a story. This is a decidedly BAD sign. I foresee more posts about this (but no promises).

So, I have 3 weeks before my driver’s license expires, and I have the dubious option of just renewing it for another five years even though I live in Virginia now. According to the Tennessee DMV, apparently I just fill out the online form and they send me a renewal sticker for the back of my license in 15-20 days. Costs $8-12 as best I can tell. In an absolutely comical act of government wisdom, I can’t have it mailed to an out-of-state mailing address because the address is used to verify that I live in state, unless I am “temporarily” living out-of-state in which case they will mail it to an out-of-state mailing address. (Incidentally, they practically specify that you relay your renewal through a friend if you leave the country.)

Pros: easy; cheap(er); somewhat rebellious; more sympathetic to state’s politics

Cons: can’t buy beer without a reader stripe in some states; got license picture when I was 21 and still wear the shirt; license has small crack and may snap in half at next use; not where I actually live

Option B is to find and visit the Virginia DMV in person sometime in the next three weeks with all of the following: current driver’s license, passport, social security card, lease or gas bill, checkbook. (If I want to make an attempt at being a good citizen I guess I could also flip through the state driver’s manual.) One thing I did want to look up online, though, was the penalty system for traffic violations. Upon doing so, I discovered that Virginia transfers and converts prior driving records to its own, so I investigated a bit further.

I have some interest in the issue, as when I was 17 I had a moving violation in Tennessee in excess of 20 MPH that was expunged from my record after a $25 fine and four hours of driving school. It turns out that the same violation is a “six-point violation” in Virginia, an offense that stays on your record for 11 years which, in case you were wondering, is the same penalty as vehicular manslaughter. Incidentally, after learning that the minimum offense is the “three-point violation” (duh, everybody knows two improper U-turns is morally equivalent to vehicular manslaughter) I scoured the website in search of how many points is “too many” and what happens when your points increase. Thus far I haven’t been able to find the answer, despite that this might just be the most relevant part of the whole point system! Also missing is the price, which is something like $20 for 5 years plus an still-unknown new license fee.

Pros: new license; will stop confusing everyone who checks my ID with a license that apparently is totally counterintuitive; will actually match my legal residence

Cons: extremely time-consuming; more costly; new pic could be even worse; could injure my driving record just by switching states

I still have a couple of days to make the decision before Tennessee’s processing time narrows my choices for me. Not sure what I’m going to do yet, but either way this is totally ridiculous.

Okay, so I’ve been gone a long time. More on that in due time, but let me offer a couple of reasons (not excuses, mind you) in saying that in the last 30 days I’ve been to California, Ohio, and Georgia, completely moved into a new house, made some cool new friends, and proved that I can in fact put in more than 25 hours a week in a given place of employment.

I’ll now begin my gradual reacquaintance with the blogging world with the following meaningful, yet not quite mainstream, links:

Oil-for-Food Sucks, And the Post Agrees with Me

Daylight Savings Time Sucks Also, And a Times Op-Ed Agrees with Me

This Guy Is Really, Really, Really, REALLY Crazy

Both a Fantastic Idea and a Cheap Excuse to Plug a Friend’s Blog

Also, I’m proud that last month I got hits on my website from the search strings “worthy email forwards” and “evil raiders super bowl”, and a little bit disturbed by “amtrak sinkhole florida”. But let it be known that I don’t check this feature very often — and by the way, a friend recently told me that he frequently googles the names of his friends with blogs and adds ridiculous words to the search string just to confuse them when they check their webstats.

(That last sentence: nerdiest gossip EVER.)