Wednesday, February 27, 2008
A brief story about last night’s Memorial Magic, followed by a few things everyone ought to know about Tennessee…
Q: Why do the Tennessee Vol fans wear orange as their school color?
A: They can wear it to the game on Saturday, they can wear it hunting on Sunday, and they can wear it to work on Monday when they’re picking up garbage during work release.
Q: What do you call a Tennessee grad wearing a suit and tie?
A: The defendant.
Q: If you have a car containing a Vol wide receiver, a Vol linebacker, and a Vol defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: What is the difference between a porcupine and Tennessee’s football stadium?
A: A porcupine has 108,000 pricks on the outside.
Q: What do tornadoes and Tennessee grads have in common?
A: They both always end up in trailer parks.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Tennessee library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: How do you get a University of Tennessee grad off of your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in the University of Tennessee dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.
Q: Why do University of Tennessee fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: How many University of Tennessee freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it’s a sophomore course.
Q: What’s the only sign of intelligent life in Knoxville?
A: “Nashville: 187 Miles”
Q. What did the Tennessee graduate say to the Vanderbilt graduate?
A. “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order, please?”
Q: What do you call a Tennessee graduate surrounded by 100 Vanderbilt graduates?
Q: What do you call a Vanderbilt graduate surrounded by 100 Tennessee graduates?
A Vanderbilt fan in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a good Tennessee joke?”
The guy next to him replies, “Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I’m 6′ tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Tennessee grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6′2″ tall, weighs 225, and he’s a Tennessee grad. And the fella next to him is 6′5″ tall, weighs 250, and he’s a Tennessee grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?”
The Vanderbilt fan says, “Naw, not if I’m gonna have to explain it three times.”